HAPPINESS—A SIMPLE FORMULA
FOR SUCCESS

By RICK DIME, Director of Public Services, Orland Park

An honest exchange of feelings builds confidence and trust in one another as well as in ourselves. It is through honest and realistic relationships that the foundation is formed for success and happiness, in both our professional and personal life. Success will naturally follow happiness.

The first step to being happy in any environment is to feel good about ourselves. We must train our personal habits to nourish the self-esteem we need for our confidence and for projecting a positive image. As we continue to nurture our own self-esteem, we can do some things to encourage our family members and co-workers to seek happiness by subtle adjustment in personal and business situations.

Today's society is goal or result oriented. Many times we set our expectations too high. The best way to be fair to one another is to be realistic and expect results in relation to current abilities. As parents, sometimes we expect our four year old son to behave like our six year old daughter. This is not a realistic expectation and could be counterproductive to the four year old's development. Is it fair to expect the same performance from a learning child who has only 2/3 the experience and training as the older sibling? If we slightly lower our expectation to a more realistic level, we are setting ourselves up for a happy ending.

Most of us just wish to be accepted for who we are, not who someone wants us to be. To be understood and accepted for being ourselves can be the singlemost inspirational factor in our lives.

The more we can use present conditions as a starting point, the fewer mistakes we are likely to make in the future. For years, we have been conditioned to learn from our past experience. Experience has its role for internal evaluation, but has little value as an external stimulus. It is much better to approach relationships and encourage positive behavior in terms of today's values. The complexities and rapid changes that occur today dictate an open-mindedness and creativity rather than conditioned, calculated responses.

We need to extend the same courteous attention to the people close to us as we do to strangers and casual acquaintances. This skill is usually most lacking in the relationships with our own family but is equally important at work. Compliments and simple recognition build more good will than all other means of reinforcement. Overfamiliarity creates a deafness that leads to misunderstandings and stops the feedback that shows our interest and concern for each other. Remember that communication is sending and receiving clear messages.

We must make a better effort to trust one another even in high risk situations. Trust is the lubrication that makes all group interaction possible. At times when the price is too high, we tend to raise our defensiveness and be on guard. When we trust in someone, we can put all our energy into helping them succeed rather than guarding against their failure. An overdose of trust is a confidence builder and will be repaid in kind.

Finally, even though personal interaction is vital to a healthy outlook, we must not let the lack of constant approval and recognition from others be a discouragement. We must develop an inner force to magnify our own strengths and compensate for our weaknesses in achieving positive self-regard. Refining our talents by a disciplined approach enhances our self-image, makes us emotionally stronger, and lessens our need for external praise. A positive state of mind exudes an assurance that happiness is naturally prominent in our every day lives.

As we travel the pursuit of success, we see that the journey begins with establishing self-esteem and projecting positive values. Kindness and understanding are joyous gifts that always encourage meaningful feedback.

Happiness feeds on confidence, trust and self-esteem. Once through the gates of happiness, a road of opportunities is available for our success. •

Page 4 / Illinois Municipal Review / August 1987