20  Illinois Parks & Recreation www.ILipra.org

by Nancy Aldrich. MA. CPRP

You're sitting in your office on a warm April day when the phone rings. The caller-says that she's wondering if you're still hiring camp counselors for the summer. You tell her you are, and she states she has a resume she'd like to fax to you. After giving her your fax number, she says, "As long as I have you on the phone, could we schedule an interview?" Pleased by the caller's confidence, you ask if she's free to meet with you tomorrow. She chuckles and explains, "Oh, the job's not for me. I'm looking for a job for my son who's away at college."

Look out! Helicopter parents are landing in the workplace.

Educators created the expression "helicopter parents" back in the early 1990s and it hit mainstream media in the early 2000s, as the first wave of Millennial, those born between 1982-2000, entered college - and were closely followed by their moms and dads. These over-involved parents are always nearby, hovering overhead, barely out of reach of their children. And while helicopter parents first made their presence known in schools and universities, they've quickly become a force to be reckoned with in the workplace.

There are many reasons why parents have become over-involved in their children's lives. Technology has made Millennials the first generation to use e-mail, text messaging and cell phones from childhood on. This gives parents unprecedented 24/7 access to their children, resulting in what Chris Meno, a University of Indiana-Bloomington psychologist, calls "a virtual umbilical cord." Smaller families are giving parents more time and money to spend on each child," explains Neil Howe, co-author of Millennials Rising: The Next Great Generation. While that's led to closer parent-child relationships, Howe says it's also driven parents to control more aspects of their children's lives. Patricia Somers, professor of education at the University of Texas-Austin, believes societal shifts and insecurities cause parents to be over-involved. "Events such as the Columbine High School shooting and the September 11 attacks have caused parents to worry more about their children, who feel helpless to protect them. Also, parents today are rejecting the less-attentive child-rearing style of their own parents; many were latchkey children who don't want to replicate that same level of disinvolvement in their own kids' lives," says Somers. And Kevin Wheeler, president of Global Learning Resources, Inc., says, "Since birth, these young folks have been protected, chaperoned, coached and guided by their parents and, as a result, they embrace the close relationship they have with their parents and look to their parents to help and guide them in whatever choices they make."

Whatever the cause, the fact is many of your teen and young adult employees are tethered to parents who will insist on actively participating in their kids' current - and future - employment. What follows are suggestions to help you navigate the challenges of the Teen-Employer-Parent Bermuda Triangle.

Mom! Dad! Help Me Get a Job!

When I first joined the parks and recreation field in 1996, I rarely got calls from parents seeking jobs for their offspring. When I did, it was usually a frantic parent making a last-ditch effort to prod his college-aged child off the couch for the summer. Now, I receive calls from parents year-round, several times a week, and they're extremely aggressive in their job-seeking efforts. I'm quizzed on what jobs are available, the job duties and, of course, how much we're willing to pay. These parents are quick to point out their children's work schedules must be very flexible, because the job needs to fit around their children's other commitments and, of course, the two-week family vacation. While they have you on the phone, they'll also try to schedule a job interview for their children. Should you schedule any, don't be surprised when the parents show up and ask to sit in on the interview.

While it's annoying to have parents take such an active role in their teens' job hunting, keep in mind Millennials are the most overscheduled generation ever. Their free time is so limited, their parents truly believe their teens don't have the time to find a job on their own. Even so, it's important to politely yet firmly inform these parents that their children need to be doing their own job hunting and that all further aspects of the hiring process will be handled strictly between you and the teens.

For most teens, applying for a job at your agency may be the first time they've filled out a job application or any other employment forms. This paperwork may prove particularly daunting for teens because, until now, they've relied on parents to fill out all of their important documents for them. At my agency, it's not unusual to see a teen and his or her parent seated in our lobby, huddled over a job application they're completing. Sadly, it's usually the parent who's filling out the application while the teen sits there idly. Hopefully, the parent won't make the one mistake that signals the application was not filled out by the teen: writing it in the third person.

"I love job applications that are written in the third person," says Arlington Heights Park District aquatic supervisor Steve Neill.

"Timmy really likes kids. Timmy is a great swimmer.' It makes me stop and think: Can Timmy do anything for himself?"

22   Illinois Parks & Recreation www.ILipra.org

Handling Helicopter Parents Once Teens Are Hired

There are basically two ways employers are dealing with over-involved parents in the workplace: They either beat them or join them.

Many private-sector employers have decided to join them, and now they actively recruit teen and young adult applicants and their parents simultaneously. While they draw the line at including parents in the hiring process, they have taken steps to keep parents informed. One employer, with the approval of its applicants, sends letters to the parents explaining the job duties, the hours of work and the rate of pay. Many employers' Web sites offer a special parent page that provides information about their companies and suggestions on how parents can assist their children as they transition into the workforce. And some employers are going so far as to host a day in which parents are invited to visit their children's workplace for a few hours - a kind of "Take Your Parents to Work" day.

Other employers have put detailed policies in place to prevent interference from parents. Most cite personnel laws and confidentiality as the main reasons for not discussing any employment-related issues with parents. When confronted with parental demands for information, these employers decline the request and direct the parents to discuss the matter with their children.

"There are basically two ways employers are dealing with over-involved parents in the workplace: They either beat them or join them."

So where do park and recreation agencies stand on the issue of helicopter parents in the workplace? Actually, somewhere in the middle. Most take a strong stance to try to deter parental involvement when a specific personnel-related situation arises. Others are offering some general information about working at their agencies to keep parents informed.

One way this is occurring is through parent orientation meetings. Fred Gusel, aquatics manager for the Bolingbrook Park District, hosts a "cut the cord" meeting for parents of his new aquatic staff. This meeting must be attended by at least one parent; otherwise the teen is not scheduled to work for the first month of the pool season. Bolingbrook's supervisory aquatic staff run the 60- to 90-minute meeting, which covers the district's operational procedures, the expectations of working at Pelican Harbor Aquatic Park and allows parents a "one-time opportunity" to participate in and ask questions about their children's employment. "We've done this the last two summers and found it to be very successful," Gusel explains, "and the level of parental interference has decreased dramatically."

Michelle Stump, program supervisor for the Carol Stream Park District, also has had success with parent meetings. While Stump also covers operational procedures and job expectations with parents, she also explains the significant responsibilities teens have by working in aquatics. "Parents are shown videos of actual aquatic emergencies, so they understand their kids aren't just sitting at the pool getting a tan," Stump says. She also informs parents she will not allow parental involvement in any employment-related issues during the course of their teens' employment.

But sometimes that's easier said than done. What do you do when you have an irate parent standing at your door screaming at you about his child's disciplinary warning or demanding to know why his child's hours were cut? Because of the employee-employer relationship, you're prohibited from discussing those matters with the parent, right?

Not necessarily. "It's true parents don't have a legal right to know, but they do have a parental need to know what's going on with their child," explains Steve Kleinman, general counsel for the Park District Risk Management Agency. "Agencies need to consider the specific situation and determine when it's in the best interest of the agency and the child to share information with the parents." Because teens' brains do not fully develop until early adulthood, Kleinman says at times they use poor judgment and make bad decisions. One example we've all experienced is our teen employees choosing not to be truthful with their parents about what's happened to them at work, especially when it's something negative. "While it's a slippery slope when you choose to break confidentiality," Kleinman says, "if the parents are on the same page as the agency and not in denial about the situation, sharing information with the parents can help the agency reinforce the performance goals it has set for that employee."

Agencies have been very successful in deterring parental involvement for the basic things, such as not allowing parents to call their kids in sick, not allowing parents to ask for schedule changes, etc. Keeping parents out of the bigger HR issues, however, will always be much more challenging. What will you do when a teen employee shows up at your agency with his parents and an attorney demanding to talk with you about the disciplinary action the teen recently received? Will you share any information with the parent of a recently terminated teen with severe attention deficit disorder, whom you had to let go because he simply was unable to perform his job duties adequately despite training and retraining? Because these issues are complex, you must confer with your human resources representative or legal counsel, so your agency can make an informed decision as to what, if any, parental involvement you'll allow in these very difficult situations.

Determining Boundaries

As the employers of so many teens and young adults, park, conservation, recreation and special recreation agencies are in a precarious situation. On the one hand, we have a responsibility to our teen and young adult employees to maintain the employee-employer relationship and avoid sharing confidential or personnel-related information with outsiders, including parents. On the other hand, parents are one of our primary stakeholders, who provide vital operating revenue as program participants and tax paying members of our communities. Agencies must therefore decide for themselves if -and when - they'll include parents in their children's employment and where they'll ultimately draw the line on parental involvement. And no matter where your agency decides to draw that line, be prepared for those persistent helicopter parents to try to cross it.

Nancy Aldrich, CPRP, MA, is superintendent of human resources with the Arlington Heights Park District and a recovering helicopter parent. Contact Aldrich at naldrich@ahpd.org.