How to understand your
body's special language

Posture and gestures account for more than half of nonverbal communication.

By Barb Valiukenas
Editor

Do you realize what type of messages you are actually sending to your co-workers? How effectively do you communicate with your constituents? Are your messages received in the same manner in which they were intended?

Shirley Elkin, founder and director of Communication Dynamics in Decatur, IL, notes that your body constantly conveys messages and attitudes on a subconscious level. This nonverbal communication, she feels, is actually more important than the verbal counterpart of the communication process.

"Studies indicate that 93 percent of all messages are nonverbal," Elkin notes. "Fifty-five percent stem from body posture and gestures, and 38 percent from the tone of your voice. Only seven percent of what you actually say comes from words."

Although everyone communicates with, and responds to, body language, Elkin says most people are unaware of its impact and importance.

"For example, when a person fails to establish eye contact with another individual during conversation, the message being sent is, 'I don't recognize you as a person,'" she explained.

"This not only alienates the person, but it also can create a serious communication snafu, especially in business and professional relationships," she said. "The inability of a superior to establish eye contact can create the proverbial 'can of worms.'"

Mixed messages

Mixed messages result when the speaker says one thing verbally, but sends the opposite message nonverbally. For example, greeting a co-worker with a "good morning" while failing to establish eye contact may send the message that you are in a bad mood.

Using a sharp tone of voice, coupled with a stern look, while giving a compliment also results in a definitely confused message.

Learning the cues

Although body language is an automatic response, people can learn to coordinate their nonverbal signals with the verbal ones. Elkin feels the time and effort involved in this learning process are worth the improved communications skills which result.

"Administrators can learn an awareness of not only their own body language, but also how to interpret the nonverbal signs of their employees and constituents," Elkin said. "This skill is especially important for women in management positions.

"For example, a woman who sits at the head of a board room table with a closed suit jacket and palms sends the message that she isn't open to ideas," she noted.

Illinois Parks and Recreation 10 July/August 1986

Facial expression is one key to interpreting nonverbal communication. A person who is in agreement with what's being said, Elkin notes, will smile, nod the head and exhibit approval with certain body movements, such as leaning forward toward the speaker. Blank looks, closed body positions and a reluctance to establish eye contacts are indications of a "red light" to the verbal message.

However, Elkin cautions that body language must be evaluated in context.

"You cannot make blanket assessments of other individuals' nonverbal language without considering the situation in which the speaker is involved," she emphasized.

"Arms crossed in front of a person's chest may not mean he is disapproving, but that he is simply responding to a cold temperature," she said. "A frown may indicate a headache instead of anger or displeasure at what's being discussed."

Good prevention

Understanding and correctly interpreting body language can help. to soften or dissolve conflicts. "Fuel" is added to disagreements when an individual crosses his (or her) arms, stands defiantly and glares while mouthing unkind statements.

To diffuse a "hot" situation, Elkin recommends softening facial expressions, relaxing body position and lowering the voice.

"You need to mentally calm yourself before making your next statement," she said. "When the other person sees that you are taking a more rational position in the disagreement, he, too, will be more willing to follow suit."

Is is difficult to become aware of body language?

"Not at all," Elkin said. "Observe how you stand when you're conversing with people. Where are your arms? How wide is your stance? How do you use your hands in gesturing? Are you establishing eye contact?"

Hand to face indicates anxiety, left hand close to forearm signals insecurity and the facial expression denotes fear.

For persons who have trouble making eye contact, Elkin suggests looking at the triangle that is located between a person's eyebrows. This, she says, gives the illusion that you are looking into the eyes. Conversely, looking at the person's mouth or nose reveals your lack of confidence.

Another nonverbal learning tool is to observe people in a variety of situtions — in grocery store lines, at restaurants, around the office. Workshops which deal with nonverbal skills can also help.

"Nonverbally, we communicate class, culture, attitude, mood self-concept and even financial standing through our posture, the way we gesture and walk," Elkin said. "One song says that 'every little movement has a meaning all its own.' Remember this during your next conversation."

Persons wanting additional information can contact Shirley Elkin at Communication Dynamics, P.O. Box 2663, Decatur, IL 62526. Phone (217) 422-8864.

Mind is closed to ideas.

This posture conveys authority,power and anger.

This person is friendly, understanding and approachable.

Illinois Parks and Recreation 11 July/August 1986