Foster parenting:

25 kids and counting

Carl and Judie Fairchild in front of their house near Corinth. They have installed a front door to provide wheelchair access, and built fire ladders for the upstairs rooms, and they have also added a lot of space.

Foster parenting is like the regular kind in many ways: It's a mixture of fun and work, happiness and grief, frustration and satisfaction. But the need for foster parents in Southern Illinois is a problem that has to be addressed, and Carl and Judie Fairchild are helping. They note that they've enjoyed some 25 children in their home over the years— in addition to their two biological daughters—and the rewards and satisfaction have been immeasurable.

The Fairchilds, who live near Corinth and are members of SouthEastern Illinois Electric Cooperative, say there's nothing special about them, but that's not really true. A piece of literature distributed by the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS) begins with the statement," It takes a special kind of person to become a foster parent— someone with a lot of love, patience and acceptance of others. "

It is interesting to note that they got into foster parenting in a simple way: They saw an appeal in a TV commercial, and decided to give something of themselves. And when talking about it, they make it sound so unremarkable. "The commercial sparked our interest," Carl says, "and we decided to give it a try."

Judie adds,"We'd moved here from Portage, Indiana, where Carl had retired from working for a steel company. We'd had time to get settled in well, we had a little extra room—not much—and we figured we could

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handle it."

Carl pauses to do one of the many parenting things all of us often do on a smaller scale. Many of the children they have had in their home have learning or physical disabilities.

With that in mind, they "dialed the number on the screen," and got started into the process. Before long, they were licensed to take care of kids who, for one reason or another, had nowhere to live.

"There are all kinds of organizations that provide support for foster parents," Judie says, "and we got involved in those, too."

Of course, there's DCFS, and there are other groups. One is the Southern Illinois Foster/Adoptive Care Alliance.

"There are several local chapters," Judie says, "and we belong to the 'Home Advantage South' chapter, and I'm president of it. We work in Franklin, Williamson and Jefferson counties. We provide support for foster parents, and have informative meetings for them, too."

The television set is a good way to keep a lot of kids entertained. Here, members of the extended family watch a cartoon.

But support groups and presidencies were all in the future when the Fairchilds called to ask about foster parenting. And 25 kids were in the future, too.

"Our first foster child had a physical disability," Judie says, "and we learned a lot from that experience. In the years since then, many of the children have had some kind of problem, often learning disabilities or the like."

"One of the foster children we have now is confined to a wheelchair," Carl says, "and we were a little nervous at first about having a handicapped child out in the country, but it's worked out real well. Country living seems to agree with the kids, and I have a livestock-hauling business that the bigger kids help with. They like working with the animals, and it gets them involved in good physical work."

The Fairchilds adopted Robert, one of the early boys they provided

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The Fairchilds' daughter, Lennie Clare, left, is a big help with the foster kids, and so was her cousin, Sarah Hand, who was visiting from Indiana.

"We have a foster daughter who has been with us for about nine years," Carl says, "and she's 18 now. She and our biological daughter, Lennie Clare, who is 15, are both really helpful with the other kids."

And they emphasize that the help is welcome. With the seven foster kids in the home now, things can really get hectic. "We're just like families everywhere," Judie chuckles, "in that there are times when we get along real well and times when we don't."

Carl and Judie use planks to get a foster child into the van. She hopes to get a lift before long.

She adds that timers are a big help, and an oven timer by an electronic game "rations" game time to those who want to play. "Thank God for electronic games and timers," Judie adds.

You would think that a family that size would have several games, but that's not the case. The kids are expected to share, and the timers are there to ensure fairness.

There have been some physical adjustments, too. "The main part of our house was probably built in the 1920s," Judie says, "and a garage was added later. We converted the garage to living space, and then we added on to the kitchen. And we added on, and we added on, and we added on! It's been an interesting process."

She adds that the family has also run the entire automotive gamut. They started out with a family sedan, went to a station wagon, traded that in on a minivan, and finally wound up with a full-sized van. Foster parenting, they say, involves several different scenarios. For example, some kids stay just one night, while family differences are ironed out; others stay for days, weeks or months. Some, like several of theirs, spend years. "It depends on what the needs are," Carl says.

The Fairchilds stress that they're not particularly extraordinary in the numbers of kids they've fostered. They point out that they know, or know of, families who have had a hundred or more foster kids for varying lengths of time.

"There's a desperate need for foster parents," Judie says, "and we're always recruiting. I want to emphasize that it's something that's not difficult to do, and it offers real satisfaction. I'd recommend it to anyone. In fact, four of the children we have now are up for adoption."

10 ILLINOIS COUNTRY LIVING • SEPTEMBER 1996