Safety
AROUND YOUR HOME

Safe schools — one school at a time

Judy Taylor

The Federal Bureau of Investigation reports the crime index rate fell for the seventh straight year in 1998, and is down almost 14 percent from the rate in 1994. But a few short months ago, the one-year anniversary of Columbine was marked with lingering effects of this tragic school shooting. Most Americans say they are worried about school safety, and nearly half of parents fear for their child's safety at school. When more than 4,000 Illinois high school students were questioned in 1993 about violent behavior, 43 percent reported they had been in a physical fight and, 22 percent reported they had carried a weapon to school within the previous 12 months.

It's unfortunate that violence is a serious problem in our society. But it's a problem, and it can't be solved by pointing blame at "others." In this short space, let's focus on what each of us can do to help make our schools safe.

Though many of the suggestions listed here will be carried out most easily by parents, all of us need to do our part, as well. So, where do we begin?

1. Talk with your children. Keep lines of communication open with your children and teens. Show them you really are listening and want to hear about their life by asking open-ended questions like: "tell me more" or "what do you think?" You'll have to be the one to raise some of the tough questions about violence, drugs and other topics. Waiting until a child brings it up may be too late.

2. Help children reach their potential. Show children they are valued and respected. Let them know education is important by being involved with their school. Get to know your child's teachers and help them get to know you and your child.

3. Provide structure and clear limits. Children need the security and guidance of clear rules and expectations. Help them understand the reason for rules. As children mature and become able to accept more responsibility, involve them in framing their own rules and consequences. Model the positive behaviors you expect.

4. Raise children to be people of good character. Many communities have come to consensus and are focusing on trustworthiness, responsibility, respect, fairness, caring and being a good citizen as traits they want their children to develop. Ethical decision-making includes thinking about how decisions will affect others.

5. Know the warning signs. Know what's normal for your son or daughter. Then when there are even small changes in behavior, you'll recognize these as early warning signs. Warning signs may be, but are not limited to, withdrawing from friends, lower grades, quitting an activity he/she previously enjoyed, eating or sleeping problems, lying, chronic headaches or stomachaches, or being evasive. It's not a specific behavior that's crucial, it's the abruptness and change in your child's behavior.

6. I'm the parent, because I said so. Parents need to step in and intervene when children exhibit behavior or attitudes that could be harmful. Don't think you must deal with an issue by yourself. In fact, effective interventions require parents, schools and others working together to monitor and support the child.

7. Improve schools and community. No, you can't change or prevent violence all by yourself. But you can begin by volunteering at your child's school and joining violence prevention coalitions. Check to make sure your child's school has a violence prevention plan.

Safety is a basic need of children and adults. We all need to work together to make our society safe, one home, one school, and one community at a time.

14 ILLINOIS COUNTRY LIVING • AUGUST 2000