No one wants to believe that domestic violence occurs in their community, but it does. Just turn on the television and you'll hear local and national stories of domestic violence. More importantly, there are hundreds and thousands of incidents that you never hear of. Dozens of times each day domestic violence happens throughout Illinois, from the north to the south, in big cities and in small towns.

Domestic violence is a pattern of coercing behaviors that may include repeated battering and injury, psychological abuse, sexual assault, progressive social isolation, deprivation or intimidation. Over time these behaviors increase in frequency and severity. Domestic violence crosses all socio-economic, ethnic, educational and geographic boundaries.

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness month. Programs all around the state are providing educational opportunities and holding special events in an effort to raise public awareness. Here are a few facts you should know about domestic violence:

• One out of every four women will be a victim of domestic violence in her lifetime.

• 47 percent of the husbands who batter their wives do so three or more times each year.

• 30 percent of women killed in the United States die at the hands of a husband or boyfriend.

• 50 percent of battered women report that their children are also abused, making domestic violence the #1 risk factor for child abuse.

• 22-35 percent of women who visit medical emergency rooms are there for injuries related to ongoing abuse.

• Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44, more common than automobile accidents, muggings and cancer deaths combined.

Rural communities face additional challenges when dealing with domestic violence. Some of the things that make living in rural communities most appealing, the deep-seated sense of community, the spaciousness of the land, and the strong family bonds, can also make it difficult for a victim to get help. Geographical distance and a fear of a lack of confidentiality can work to keep her socially isolated.

Rural communities can work towards ending domestic violence in the following ways:

• Breaking the silence is the first step. Each of us has a responsibility to inform others that domestic violence is a serious and widespread problem.

• Be prepared to acknowledge that this form of violence is occurring in your community.

• Don't allow jokes about domestic violence to be made in your presence. It isn't funny.

• Support local services or groups working to stop domestic violence.

• Invite someone to your social club, civic club meeting or church group to speak about the issue.

• Learn more about domestic violence, particularly the laws relating to it.

• Phone police when you are concerned for the safety of a woman or child. It's hard, but get involved.

• Support domestic violence programs, especially those aimed at community education and training.

• Be clear that a person is responsible for their own violent behavior. A woman is not to blame for the violence against her.

• Understand the difficulties women experiencing domestic violence face in rural communities.

• Listen to women's stories and hear between the lines. An invitation to share may be the opening a woman needs to reach out for information and assistance.

Domestic violence services are available throughout Illinois. Whether you live in Harrisburg, Princeton, Carlinville or Lincoln, there are programs that reach out to your community. To find the name and number of your local service provider you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800)799-SAFE (7233). Or visit the Web site of the Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence at www.icadv.org where you simply click on your county to find the name of your local service provider. Last year more than 40,000 women and 10,000 children in Illinois sought domestic violence services. Domestic violence affects every community.

Perhaps you know someone who is being abused. You may have been a victim yourself. Or you may simply want to know more about how to help end this violence. There are many things you can do to get involved. Throughout October, please take a moment to see how you can make a difference in your community.

Every woman, child and man has a right to live in a safe environment, free from violence. Violence in our schools, streets and country will not stop until we stop the violence in our homes. Please remember, peace on earth begins at home.

Tami Silverman is the Executive Director of Sojourn Shelter and Services, Inc. Sojourn provides services to victims or domestic violence residing in Christian, Logan, Menard, Montgomery and Sangamon counties. Silverman also serves on the Board of Directors for the Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence and the Illinois Department of Human Services Domestic Violence Advisory Council. The opinions and views of guest commentators are their own and may not represent those of the Association of Illinois Electric Cooperatives or the electric co-ops of Illinois.

4 ILLINOIS COUNTRY LIVING www.aiec.org