With all the abductions in the news recently, it is good for parents to discuss safety tips with their children, like walking with a buddy and never telling someone on the phone that you are home alone. In addition, discussing actual situations and typical approaches that abductors may use can help to protect children.

First, parents need to make sure their children understand the meaning of the word "stranger." To young children, a stranger may mean a scary person rather than someone they don't know. Some questions parents may want to ask their children are:

1. "What would you do if someone you didn't know asked you to help them find their puppy?" Help children understand that there is no puppy and that it is not safe to walk up close to a car or a stranger. Tell them that most people are nice and this will probably never happen, but if it does, you want them to know it is not safe.

2. "What would you do if someone in a car asked you for directions?" Help children understand that adults who are lost don't ask children for directions. Pointing in a direction can enable a stranger to grab their arm and pull them into their car. Again, help children to understand this is not considered a safe situation.

3. "What would you do if you were home alone, or with a friend, and someone you didn't know came to the door and said there was an emergency, such as 'Your mother has been hurt and I have come to take you to her,' or 'Your house is on fire and I have been sent to get you.' Help children to understand that they should never unlock or open the door to a stranger, and they should call 911 for help.

4. "What would you do if you were on the Internet and someone started talking to you and wanted to meet you?" Help children to understand the danger in talking to strangers or agreeing to meet with them.

Also, help children to trust their instincts. If something doesn't feel right to them, they need to pay attention and leave the situation. Encourage them to tell you about anything that happens to them that makes them feel uncomfortable.

"Do not become complacent about personal security issues."

There are several organizations with Web sites and advice for parents. One, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) suggests parents teach their children three easy to remember words: No, Go and Tell.

No. Yell "no" as loudly as possible when you are afraid or uncomfortable. This alerts those around the child that something is wrong.

Go. Run away from the stranger towards the nearest safe house — either home, a trusting neighbor, or the nearest adult.

Tell. Tell the adult they run to what happened.

NCMEC also gives the following advice. Never let your children go places alone. Know where, and with whom, your children are at all times. Talk openly to your children about safety. Practice what you teach by creating "what if scenarios with your children to make sure they understand. Consider installing an alarm system in your home with a monitoring feature. Have a list of family members who could be contacted in case of an emergency. Be alert to and aware of your surroundings. Report any suspicious persons or activities to law enforcement officials. Remember that you are your best resource for better safeguarding your family. Do not become complacent about personal security issues.

For more information, call (800) 843-5678 or go to www.missingkids.com. Other Web sites include www.fbi.gov/kids www.tccrime.com.

As parents, we may be reluctant to talk about abduction with our children because we don't want to make them afraid. However it is important to give our children the information they need to recognize situations that may be unsafe and to be able to make good decisions.

Patti Faughn, Family Life Educator, University of Illinois Extension, Springfield Center, (217) 782-6515.

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