Safety
AROUND YOUR HOME

Stop bullying before it gets out of hand

Bullying consists of direct behaviors such as teasing, taunting, threatening, hitting and stealing that are started by one or more students against a victim or victims. In addition to direct attacks, bullying may also be indirect, such as spreading rumors that cause victims to be socially isolated through intentional exclusion.

Dan Dawson

Boys who bully typically engage in direct bullying methods, where girls who bully, are more apt to use more subtle, indirect strategies. Whether the bullying is direct or indirect, the key component or bullying is physical or psychological intimidation that occurs repeatedly over time to create an ongoing pattern of abuse.

Bullies try to justify their actions by saying that it is their victim's fault for being different. They may pick on someone who is tall or short, wears glasses, has a different accent, is shy or clever, is good looking or disabled. Any excuse will do, and if there are no real differences, then the bullies will think of one.

Bullying is an old and widespread problem. Most of us can recall episodes of bullying that we, or our classmates, were subjected to during our school years. Research estimates are showing that the problem affects far more students than teachers or parents are aware of. Two separate studies have shown that 15 percent, or one in seven students (K-8), reported being victimized more than twice. Another important finding is that most students who are bullied either do not report the incident to adults, or they wait a very long time before doing so.

The reasons include feelings of shame, fear of retaliation for reporting, and fear that adults cannot or will not protect them in the settings where bullying usually takes place — the playground, the hallway in school, or on the way to and from school.

A number of child-rearing styles have been found to predict whether a child will grow up to be aggressive bullies. A lack of attention and warmth towards the child, together with modeling of aggressive behavior at home, and poor supervision of the child, all create the opportunity for aggressive and bullying behavior to occur.

The best-documented individual child factor in bullying is temperament. Temperament refers to basic tendencies by children to develop certain personality styles. Children who are over-active and impulsive in temperament may be more inclined to develop into bullies. School supervision of children has also been found to be of prime importance.

There are strategies for both parents and teachers who wish to stop bullying. An important starting point is to realize that much of the bullying occurs without the knowledge of teachers and parents, and that many victims are very reluctant to tell adults of their problems with bullying.

Adults must re-examine some of their own beliefs with regard to interpersonal behavior before they can intervene. Many teachers and parents tell children not to 'tattle,' and to resolve their problems themselves. In the bullying situation, there is a power of imbalance, which ensures that the victim always gets the worst of the interaction.

Some important strategies for stopping bullying are: providing good supervision for children, providing effective consequences for bullies, using good communication between teachers and parents, providing children opportunities to develop good interpersonal skills, and creating a social setting which is supportive and where bullying behavior is not tolerated.

Dan Dawson is prevention educator at the Springfield Extension Center, University of Illinois - (217) 782-6515, or e-mail dawsond@mail.aces.uiuc.edu.

14 ILLINOIS COUNTRY LIVING • MAY 2001